Trolling For Jobs

Hey Non-Divas,

So, today finds me trolling for jobs. As you read in my last post, I have been trolling for jobs for a hot minute. However, now, I am doing it from home. I have all of my shizz together. CV, check; Letters of Recommendation, check; Cover Letter, check; Teaching Evaluations, check; High Panic Level, check; High Level of Anxiety That They Are Gonna Figure Out That I'm Really a Phony and Tell Me That I Can't Get In The Club, check. See, I am armed with all of the requisite papers and emotions to hopefully complete the job of transitioning from being a graduate student to an Assistant Professor. There's just one thing . . . I still can't quite wrap my brain around the idea that someone is going to hire me to be faculty at a University. It kind of freaks me out. I mean, it's not that I don't think I can do the job. I love to teach. I can bullshit with the best of them. I'm good at the research that I do. It's just difficult for me to get a hold of the idea that this step, that I have been "preparing" for over the past eleventy years is now ready to be taken. What the hell?

I'm probably going to post more about my ideas about transitioning from one culture to the other. I'm very unclear on what is going to happen and how I am going to handle it and how I'm going to make my mother understand that moving across the country may very well be what is best for me. Yes, non-diva's, I am 36 years old and still dealing with this stuff. Does it ever stop?

I'll check back in later.

Home Sweet Home (at least for now!)

Arrived home early from the very large conference! Very tired, but it was quite productive overall :) I was just struck by the fact that this time next year...by the time J and I return from the very large conference - we will be EMPLOYED somewhere and living in a totally different place! Can you say real job again, and real salary and real benefits? That fact is frightening and exciting all at once.....I wish I had a crystal ball to see where it will be!

I See A Thousand Points of Disogranization

Hola Non-Divas,

Here I sit in the central sitting area of a conference hotel. I am attending one of the two big daddy national conferences in my field. I will affectionaltely refer to this conference as, "The National Conference of We Cannot Get Our Shit Together to Save Our Ever Loving Lives". Every year I come to this conference, and every year it never fails to amaze me that such a gigantic national conference that has been going on forever has yet to figure out how the hell to get organized and actually become user friendly. . . . or even user tolerant . . . or that there are actually users here . . . Anyway, I arrived yesterday on a jet plane filled with PhDivas and students from my University. They were all nice and cordial and here for themselves and for the most part not terribly interested in the student users who are coming here so that they can evenutally become frustrated faculty users. I shouldn't say all . . . their were certainly a couple of faculty members who went out of their way to tell me that they would help me in any way they could . . . Strangely, I have not heard from them today . . . I'm sure I will . . . right :)

Funny Story: I was standing next to one of the aforementioned faculty members at check in. He successfully checked in to his lovely suite [for which he will be fully reimbursed and I will not despite the fact that I also represent the University - my bitterness makes me digress]. Anyway, he got his room number, and then they turned to me. Apparently, they were still cleaning all of the other available rooms, so they put me on the top floor . . . the concierge floor . . . it was all they had available. The aforementioned prof was none too happy that I, the underling, was getting the royal treatment. Sometimes, karma is a bitch that I heart hardcore.

Back to the disorganized mess of a conference . . . I, and a few of my fellow students, are here to try and whore ourselves out for a job. However, when we got here, we were told that all mass job interviews were held from 12-5 . . . prior to our arrival. Now, there was no mention of said event in the conference schedule . . . and no one at the registration desk knew what we were talking about when we asked about it. Later, we found out that there were about 20 schools interviewing for positions, and, funny enough, very few people showed up . . . they were so confused. UGH! So, I decided that we needed to go sit somewhere, have a drink, allow ourselves a time of communion and bitterness, and then reformulate our plan of attack.

Post drinking and bitterness, we decdied to hit up the opening ceremonies and all of the many booths for all of the many universities that are representing hardcore at the conference. We rocked . . . I cannot even tell you . . . I currenlty have appointments/interviews with Rutgers, Boston College, Syracuse University, and Cal State Long Beach. I plan to hit them up hardcore again today before preparing for the reception hour tonight [read: very good time to talk to people as they are drinking and will be more receptive to the future faculty seduction that will ensue]. I will update tomorrow about the reception experience. Trust me, it will be a freaking hoot. I'm tickled about it.

Trying to catch some of that inspiration!

Well, life has intervened in MUCH too large of a way for me lately - reminding me that while many things that I am doing are very important - none of it is of that much importance if you don't have your health, family and friends. There have been some very sad/stressful times over the late summer and early fall. So a much needed shout-out to K for being the wonderful partner, love and friend in my life, and to J my friend, colleague and partner in all of this PhD craziness. Thank you both!

My progress has been in tiny fits and starts - but I am guessing some progress is better than NO progress. I am following J's idea of working on regular work-a-day stuff weekly and then creating a 'retreat' of sorts on the weekend to work on my dissertation work. So far so good! Finishing corrections on Chapter Three, a draft of Chapter One is done, and outline of Chapter Two is in progress.

It is an interesting time of the year - in addition to the stress and (hopefully) joy of finishing this thing...we have been receiving the constant job announcements from every possible source! I do worry a bit about future employment - am I a good fit for any place out there? Are there going to be jobs that will be interesting and fulfilling? Are there jobs that will allow me to pay off this massive student loan debt and still pay bills? It has been a long time since I was 'just' working....what will that be like? Can I really afford to be thinking about this now? I probably HAVE to think about this now.....yikes!

A Quick Inspirational Post!

A very short post today to remind the world that the chair of my Dissertation Committee rules! As I slowly plod along, still trying to get this shizz done, I can always count on inspiration when I go into her office. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even realize what she does to energize me. It's just sitting in a room with her and talking about all kinds of academic things that reminds me why I am involved in this otherwise ridiculous process. I really want to get done if for no reason other than getting to walk on that stage and have her "hood" me . . . it always cracks me up to say that . . . it just sounds so cultish . . . Anyway, I am quickly blogging while she is out of the room, so I will end it for now. I may check in later to fill you guys in on other not so inspirational happenings.

Oh, and by the way, I have added a map and a live feed so that I can see where you all are coming from when you look at the blog . . . don't worry, no GPS included, We won't be able to locate your position when checking in . . . :)

Hope all is well with my fellow non-phdivas!

A New Path on the Journey of Not Becoming a PhDiva: The Final New Beginning

Ok, so it's been a HOT minute since I have posted. I have gone through some ups and downs since then, which means I've been in and out of the dissertation. But, I'M BACK! So, over the past week, I have gone through the chapters I have written and made out lists of all the corrections I need to make. The result, I'm going to send out a final version of Chapter One tonight! Next, I will send out a final version of Chapter Three! This week, I will send out those two chapters and complete writing my draft of Chapter Four. I'm pretty excited about my progress. I AM GOING TO PLUG THROUGH . . . NOW!

One reason I have become re-inspired . . . a friend of mine. So, she and I sat down and I did the therapeutic throw up on her, and she and I came up with a Plan Of Action. Each week, I will work in my town . . . underpaid work during the day AND non-paid school work at night. Every Thursday night, I will drive to her town and spend the night. On Friday, I stay at her house and work all day . . . in a different environment . . . by myself.

I did it last week, and it worked so very nicely . . . I feel very good about this plan. I have gotten so bogged down in my town, and I this past week, I found the trip to my friend's town (only an hour away) such a cool kind of vacation. I figure, whatever works for me is a good thing.

I will do my best to keep updating the blog with my progress.

YAY!

A Little Academic Funny

So, L and I are on this listserv that sends us "interesting" issues about qualitative research. From time to time, informative posts come along to add to our knowledge of qualitative research. . . And sometimes . . . posts are sent along that remind you what a, um, er, quirky bunch acadmeics actually are. That being said, last week we received an email about the Grounded Theory Jamboree III This event is for those in qualitative research who utilize grounded theory as a framework for research. I won't bore you about the specifics, but basically it is a mode of inquiry (think design for quantitative research) in which a researcher goes into a particular place (e.g. jail, classroom, etc) and observes and attempts to build a theory based on these observations. The specifics aren't really important . . . what is more important, and inspired much giggling was the idea of a "Jamboree". I just had this vivid image of a bunch of qualitative researchers trying to win big stuffed animals by throwing darts at pictures of big named researchers OR someone like say tryihg to win tickets to the Big Grounded Theory Dance by participating in the Derrida Lincoln Log Deconstructing . . . yeah, I actually remember something from class . . . It just kind of cracked us up.

We have considered designing T-Shirts for this event . . .

J's idea: Front: Grounded Theory Jamboree; Back: Holla at a Quelude
L's idea: Front: Grounded Theory Jamboree; Back: Grounded Theorists Do It Inductively

More ideas to come, I'm sure.

Just cracks me up.