Don't Be A PhDiva

Ramblings of a Newbie Prof

2010-05-31T17:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I haven't written on this blog in a really long time . . . and there is no guarantee that I will keep up with it now . . . but here goes nothing.

So, since last I wrote, I have graduated from the University of Alabama, and am no longer a graduate student. I am a full-fledged PhD. A doctor . . . what does this mean? From my perspective, it means that I now have only one job. That's really nice. It's nice to have one place to go to work and come home. That's the simple explanation. The more convoluted explanation is that it is A LOT of work. Anyone who says, "wow, it must really be nice to make your own hours and have summers off . . . be glad you don't work in the REAL world", needs to be punched in the throat.

I have discovered that even though I am one full year out of graduate school, my graduate student mentality continues to persist. In faculty meetings, I give my opinions, often, but all too often they are presented in an apologetic tone. I speak kind of like I'm backing away from my words as I'm saying them. I act like the newbie. I act like the youngest person in the group. . . and, I am. However, it makes me wonder if I will ever shed my graduate student skin . . . and, do I need to? Is the only way to keep from becoming a PhDiva to keep some of that graduate school skin so as not to ascend to the top of Mount Academia? I'm not sure.

My first year has been eye opening . . . mostly in a good way. I LOVE teaching. LOVE IT. But, I always have. Becoming a PhD has not changed that aspect of my personality. I am most comfortable in front of a classroom interacting with my students. The faculty part of my job is less than thrilling. I find myself getting caught up in the detail of the day to day shit you have to do as a faculty member.

My job is split up into several different categories: Teaching, Service, and Research. The teaching part I've already discussed . . . I LOVE IT. The service piece is both departmental and community based. The departmental stuff I'm forced to do, and therefore, I get it done. The community stuff has proven a little more difficult as I'm in a new place and don't know anyone. i'm trying to get involved, but I'm not feeling terribly motivated. The research part is the real problem. I have no issue pitching proposals to conferences . . . it's kind of mine and Dr. L's thing. However, writing based on my dissertation or any other bits of interesting research seems to be an insurmountable task. I have sat down on several different occasions and attempted to write . . . not working. I'm even working on an easy article with two other faculty members . . . all I have to do is write a policy piece based on stuff I did in my dissertation . . . I wrote something . . . not very good . . . I knew that when I sent it, and, as I could have predicted, I got a response that said it wasn't enough. Even though I knew this was the response I was going to receive, it sent me spiraling into a mini-depression. Ughs. I don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I write? Why don't I want to? My faculty mentor says I need to develop a strict writing schedule . . . not my forte. However, I will try this summer to start . . .

I'm kind of just rambling at this point. I hope I pick this up and continue to write . . . it helps to ramble . . .

Trolling For Jobs

2008-11-11T15:59:00.001-08:00

Hey Non-Divas,

So, today finds me trolling for jobs. As you read in my last post, I have been trolling for jobs for a hot minute. However, now, I am doing it from home. I have all of my shizz together. CV, check; Letters of Recommendation, check; Cover Letter, check; Teaching Evaluations, check; High Panic Level, check; High Level of Anxiety That They Are Gonna Figure Out That I'm Really a Phony and Tell Me That I Can't Get In The Club, check. See, I am armed with all of the requisite papers and emotions to hopefully complete the job of transitioning from being a graduate student to an Assistant Professor. There's just one thing . . . I still can't quite wrap my brain around the idea that someone is going to hire me to be faculty at a University. It kind of freaks me out. I mean, it's not that I don't think I can do the job. I love to teach. I can bullshit with the best of them. I'm good at the research that I do. It's just difficult for me to get a hold of the idea that this step, that I have been "preparing" for over the past eleventy years is now ready to be taken. What the hell?

I'm probably going to post more about my ideas about transitioning from one culture to the other. I'm very unclear on what is going to happen and how I am going to handle it and how I'm going to make my mother understand that moving across the country may very well be what is best for me. Yes, non-diva's, I am 36 years old and still dealing with this stuff. Does it ever stop?

I'll check back in later.

Home Sweet Home (at least for now!)

2008-11-02T12:27:00.000-08:00

Arrived home early from the very large conference! Very tired, but it was quite productive overall :) I was just struck by the fact that this time next year...by the time J and I return from the very large conference - we will be EMPLOYED somewhere and living in a totally different place! Can you say real job again, and real salary and real benefits? That fact is frightening and exciting all at once.....I wish I had a crystal ball to see where it will be!

I See A Thousand Points of Disogranization

2008-10-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hola Non-Divas,

Here I sit in the central sitting area of a conference hotel. I am attending one of the two big daddy national conferences in my field. I will affectionaltely refer to this conference as, "The National Conference of We Cannot Get Our Shit Together to Save Our Ever Loving Lives". Every year I come to this conference, and every year it never fails to amaze me that such a gigantic national conference that has been going on forever has yet to figure out how the hell to get organized and actually become user friendly. . . . or even user tolerant . . . or that there are actually users here . . . Anyway, I arrived yesterday on a jet plane filled with PhDivas and students from my University. They were all nice and cordial and here for themselves and for the most part not terribly interested in the student users who are coming here so that they can evenutally become frustrated faculty users. I shouldn't say all . . . their were certainly a couple of faculty members who went out of their way to tell me that they would help me in any way they could . . . Strangely, I have not heard from them today . . . I'm sure I will . . . right :)

Funny Story: I was standing next to one of the aforementioned faculty members at check in. He successfully checked in to his lovely suite [for which he will be fully reimbursed and I will not despite the fact that I also represent the University - my bitterness makes me digress]. Anyway, he got his room number, and then they turned to me. Apparently, they were still cleaning all of the other available rooms, so they put me on the top floor . . . the concierge floor . . . it was all they had available. The aforementioned prof was none too happy that I, the underling, was getting the royal treatment. Sometimes, karma is a bitch that I heart hardcore.

Back to the disorganized mess of a conference . . . I, and a few of my fellow students, are here to try and whore ourselves out for a job. However, when we got here, we were told that all mass job interviews were held from 12-5 . . . prior to our arrival. Now, there was no mention of said event in the conference schedule . . . and no one at the registration desk knew what we were talking about when we asked about it. Later, we found out that there were about 20 schools interviewing for positions, and, funny enough, very few people showed up . . . they were so confused. UGH! So, I decided that we needed to go sit somewhere, have a drink, allow ourselves a time of communion and bitterness, and then reformulate our plan of attack.

Post drinking and bitterness, we decdied to hit up the opening ceremonies and all of the many booths for all of the many universities that are representing hardcore at the conference. We rocked . . . I cannot even tell you . . . I currenlty have appointments/interviews with Rutgers, Boston College, Syracuse University, and Cal State Long Beach. I plan to hit them up hardcore again today before preparing for the reception hour tonight [read: very good time to talk to people as they are drinking and will be more receptive to the future faculty seduction that will ensue]. I will update tomorrow about the reception experience. Trust me, it will be a freaking hoot. I'm tickled about it.

Trying to catch some of that inspiration!

2008-10-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well, life has intervened in MUCH too large of a way for me lately - reminding me that while many things that I am doing are very important - none of it is of that much importance if you don't have your health, family and friends. There have been some very sad/stressful times over the late summer and early fall. So a much needed shout-out to K for being the wonderful partner, love and friend in my life, and to J my friend, colleague and partner in all of this PhD craziness. Thank you both!

My progress has been in tiny fits and starts - but I am guessing some progress is better than NO progress. I am following J's idea of working on regular work-a-day stuff weekly and then creating a 'retreat' of sorts on the weekend to work on my dissertation work. So far so good! Finishing corrections on Chapter Three, a draft of Chapter One is done, and outline of Chapter Two is in progress.

It is an interesting time of the year - in addition to the stress and (hopefully) joy of finishing this thing...we have been receiving the constant job announcements from every possible source! I do worry a bit about future employment - am I a good fit for any place out there? Are there going to be jobs that will be interesting and fulfilling? Are there jobs that will allow me to pay off this massive student loan debt and still pay bills? It has been a long time since I was 'just' working....what will that be like? Can I really afford to be thinking about this now? I probably HAVE to think about this now.....yikes!

A Quick Inspirational Post!

2008-08-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

A very short post today to remind the world that the chair of my Dissertation Committee rules! As I slowly plod along, still trying to get this shizz done, I can always count on inspiration when I go into her office. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even realize what she does to energize me. It's just sitting in a room with her and talking about all kinds of academic things that reminds me why I am involved in this otherwise ridiculous process. I really want to get done if for no reason other than getting to walk on that stage and have her "hood" me . . . it always cracks me up to say that . . . it just sounds so cultish . . . Anyway, I am quickly blogging while she is out of the room, so I will end it for now. I may check in later to fill you guys in on other not so inspirational happenings.

Oh, and by the way, I have added a map and a live feed so that I can see where you all are coming from when you look at the blog . . . don't worry, no GPS included, We won't be able to locate your position when checking in . . . :)

Hope all is well with my fellow non-phdivas!

A New Path on the Journey of Not Becoming a PhDiva: The Final New Beginning

2008-07-15T21:36:00.001-07:00

Ok, so it's been a HOT minute since I have posted. I have gone through some ups and downs since then, which means I've been in and out of the dissertation. But, I'M BACK! So, over the past week, I have gone through the chapters I have written and made out lists of all the corrections I need to make. The result, I'm going to send out a final version of Chapter One tonight! Next, I will send out a final version of Chapter Three! This week, I will send out those two chapters and complete writing my draft of Chapter Four. I'm pretty excited about my progress. I AM GOING TO PLUG THROUGH . . . NOW!

One reason I have become re-inspired . . . a friend of mine. So, she and I sat down and I did the therapeutic throw up on her, and she and I came up with a Plan Of Action. Each week, I will work in my town . . . underpaid work during the day AND non-paid school work at night. Every Thursday night, I will drive to her town and spend the night. On Friday, I stay at her house and work all day . . . in a different environment . . . by myself.

I did it last week, and it worked so very nicely . . . I feel very good about this plan. I have gotten so bogged down in my town, and I this past week, I found the trip to my friend's town (only an hour away) such a cool kind of vacation. I figure, whatever works for me is a good thing.

I will do my best to keep updating the blog with my progress.

YAY!

A Little Academic Funny

2008-04-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

So, L and I are on this listserv that sends us "interesting" issues about qualitative research. From time to time, informative posts come along to add to our knowledge of qualitative research. . . And sometimes . . . posts are sent along that remind you what a, um, er, quirky bunch acadmeics actually are. That being said, last week we received an email about the Grounded Theory Jamboree III This event is for those in qualitative research who utilize grounded theory as a framework for research. I won't bore you about the specifics, but basically it is a mode of inquiry (think design for quantitative research) in which a researcher goes into a particular place (e.g. jail, classroom, etc) and observes and attempts to build a theory based on these observations. The specifics aren't really important . . . what is more important, and inspired much giggling was the idea of a "Jamboree". I just had this vivid image of a bunch of qualitative researchers trying to win big stuffed animals by throwing darts at pictures of big named researchers OR someone like say tryihg to win tickets to the Big Grounded Theory Dance by participating in the Derrida Lincoln Log Deconstructing . . . yeah, I actually remember something from class . . . It just kind of cracked us up.

We have considered designing T-Shirts for this event . . .

J's idea: Front: Grounded Theory Jamboree; Back: Holla at a Quelude
L's idea: Front: Grounded Theory Jamboree; Back: Grounded Theorists Do It Inductively

More ideas to come, I'm sure.

Just cracks me up.

Make the dissertation a part of my daily life . . . Like Days of Our LIves?

2008-04-18T11:35:00.001-07:00

L's post could not have come at a better time for me. I am sitting in front of a computer trying to write Chapter four of this bad boy . . . I've been pretty productive over the past 2 weeks, but, I let a few days lapse where I didn't work on it, and now, I'm having a hard time re-revving the engines.

The idea of integrating the dissertation into everyday life is an interesting one. I certainly have not taken that tact with this process. Better late than never, I guess. I see that when I take breaks from the data and writing, it takes me longer to get back into it. My focus is gone. Therefore, I guess integrating it into my everyday life would keep it fresh on my mind at all times . . . and perhaps push me harder to work more so that I could stop thinking about this shit cuz it is driving me freaking crazy . . .

Very good idea . . . hmmm, how will I do this. I'm sure I will be blogging later with some ideas as my creative juices for working on this monster do not seem to be flowing.

Interesting thought about dissertation work

2008-04-17T14:03:00.001-07:00

Here is a interesting idea that was in my email box today (courtesy of a PhD newsletter)- about integrating our dissertation work into our daily lives:

"Build the dissertation into your day as much as possible.

Integrating the dissertation into your daily life is a fantastic habit. It is much more helpful than placing it in its own category, where it begins to become an overwhelming and looming task.

How can you better integrate the dissertation into your day? How can it become more automatic, like taking a shower or brushing your teeth?"

I hadn't really thought about it like that...more often - I see it as the overwhelming and looming task. I will be working on a different perspective!

-L

Productivity and a Brief Trip to my SoapBox

2008-03-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

Yo!

So, I just had to write today to discuss how WONDERFULLY PRODUCTIVE today has been. I have coded - for the umpteenth time - five of my interviews. Tomorrow, I will start writing the bios for my chapter four. I am using a storytelling approach to my dissertation, and, therefore, will be providing a little back story on each participant to give the reader some context for the analysis. I'm starting to get a wee bit excited about this chapter four. Hopefully, the productivity will continue. I LOVE feeling like this about my work. Everytime I read these interviews, I remember why this work is important, and why I chose it! My participants rule! And there stories deserve to be heard. If for no other reason, those who read it . . hopefully a few will read it . . may never get any other exposure to people who commit crimes.

You know, I have noticed that people tend to really embrace their ignorance. For example, today, I read in an online newspaper about a man who was arrested on several counts of sexual abuse . . . don't even get me started about the press providing the names of people who have been arrested but not convicted in a society which supposedly believes in innocent until proven guilty . . . Anyway, the story went on to say that this man was being charged for crimes that allegedly took place approximately 15-20 years ago. The article goes on to provide an interview with the alleged perpetrators mother who stated that her son is mentally retarded. Now, scroll down to the "comments" at the bottom - the gentleman who commented said that this person deserved to die and that no amount of mental problems should excuse his behavior . . . he should just die. Now, I'm not angling for excusing anyone's behavior, but, it was very apparent that this commenter had never been associated with someone who committed a crime, was mentally retarded, just had never had any direct contact with the "wrong side of the law" or any type of mental instability. When folks who are ignorant of certain situations make massively inflammatory comments, it makes me want to stab a flaming spork through my eyeballs!

All that to say, if providing the stories of these women can in any way, shape or form educate someone . . . not necessarily academically, but just to the human condition . . . if just ONE person becomes more sensitive to these issues, then all of this CRAP has been worth it.

Whew, that turned out much longer and much more soapboxy than I had intended.

I'm out!

Have a good weekend, non-divas!

Well I'm Movin On Up . . . To The Doc Side . . .

2008-03-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hey Non-divas,

You more mature divas may recognize "The Jeffersons" reference in the title . . . Holla . . .

Just wanted to check in to say that I am still pluggin away at the dissertation stuff. I am hangin in there, and continue to code data and create the stories of my interviewees. I am taking the transcriptions and using their words to put their stories out there. I hope I'm doing a good job. I love these women, and believe in their causes. I want to do a good job. I so want to represent them well. I know I go on and on, but it is a concern that I have. However, with those concerns in the forefront of my mind, I continue to plug away at the final product. I'm trying to work to beat down the anxiety (read: panic) that I feel sometimes about finishing. I figure actually working is probably better therapy than sitting around and giving in to the worry.

Oh, BTW, another example of how not to be a PhDiva . . . my WONDERFUL chair is on my list to send positive things everyday . . . when she's in a good and productive place, she will often respond with either a snarky comment (always appreciated) or a sweet comment. These responses are enough to register as a non PhDiva event, however, this last week, I sent a message out that had something to do with a true friend . . . something about being comfortable enough to be yourself, etc . . . and she sent me a message back that said, "I guess you and I are friends, huh". It was just a little blip, but it meant the world to me AND further proved that PhD does not have to equal PhDiva!

I love it when I make good choices!

Peace out, yo ;)

Do you know the way back from slackerville...?

2008-03-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

Wow! J has been a roll here at Divaland - and where have I been....doing everything but this. Some good accomplishments - my latest chapter is shaping up - with a goal to get it to my committee chair by the end of the week. And, I successfully submitted an abstract for a conference (just a poster session) - but hey, I haven't done that in a while.

Speaking of conferences - J, we should work on a combo-effort to present at a conference sometime later this year. I think it would motivate me more if I knew I had someone out there expecting me to pull something together! What do you think?

Other news -I have found a great place to work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays - it is a bookstore that for some reason, no one comes here to work (probably because there is no coffee or snacks) - so I have the place to myself upstairs. Yay! I seem to get a lot done here (see abstract and chapter mention above).

Here's to a productive rest of our week!
"L"

GETTING ON WITH IT . . . and stuff

2008-03-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!

Short post here. I'm asking for good, positive thoughts to be sent my way today. I am going back to the coding and writing stuff. I intend to work at least 2 hours on dissertation stuff today, and I'm pretty on fire about it. I have to intertwine this work with both grading papers and courthouse shizz, but I will get something accomplished. I'll probably check back in later to let y'all know how it went. It was weird, I was laying in bed last night, and I almost couldn't wait for it to be morning so I could re-begin the process of GETTING ON WITH IT! Have y'all ever had that happen? Weird, huh . . . Anyhoo, I'll check back in with y'all later. Have a good one. :)

"J"

Whoa, apparently, we blew up!

2008-03-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hey, y'all!

Ok, so, yesterday at this time, the PhDiva blog had 39 hits on the little fire counter. Between last night and tonight we have had an additional 236 hits. Whoa! I'm loving it. L and I will be posting more in hopes that those of you who have checked in liked what you read. Hooray! We love it!

To pick up from yesterday, I am feeling much better. I was in a weird place last night, you know, like Opp, Alabama. Anyway, I looked over my transcripts today and re-familiarized myself with my work to this point. I am starting to get a little re-energized about the dissertation. I have set aside some time on Friday to pick up where I left off. Hopefully, I will be able to make some major headway.

I'll probably blog a bit in the next few days about the actual dissertation.

In the meantime, let me relay a story. So, the other day, I met with a prospective student at the school. As we are talking, this student says that he got accepted to a school very close to where he lives, but didn't want to go there . . . because . . . get ready . . . the faculty were very egotistical and did not seem very student friendly. OH MY-LANTA! All I could think was, sweetie, get used to it. Such is the nature of the academic environment. We went walking with another current student and he began to tell us about his visit to our school. He said that he had heard that it was optimal to let the chair of your committee pick the other members of the committee so that they all got along with the chair. Hmmmm, after my giggling fit ceased, and I picked myself off of the sidewalk, I said, "No, no, no, no,no, no". Cease and decist, my child. Do not listen to THEM. THEY do not have your best interest at heart. This committee is YOURS. It is there to work for YOU and only YOU. UGH on faculty for saying these things to newbies. This is the perfect example of the PhDiva! And, in addition, a perfect example of what WE will be avoiding when we make the transition!

Check ya, later!

Caution: Overly dramatic post to follow!

2008-03-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Not a long post here, just thought I would check in. I am still struggling over here in procrastinationville. I should be a little more fair to myself . . . I am one busy person. The working, teaching, volunteering, etc. tends to keep me a little busy. I'm starting to get a little scared that I may never get this thing done. I sort of feel like I'm treading water here. Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing normally, and at others, like I'm going under. I understand this post is not directly related to avoiding PhDivaness . . . well, wait, maybe it is. I think a part of being a PhDiva is losing self-awareness. I really think that those who achieve PhDivadom find themselves with an ego level that prevents emotions like feeling out of control . . . because nothing is ever their fault. They are above the feelings of panic and distress that cause one to question their ability to actually function as an academic. So, yes, I guess this post is about the topic at hand. I guess my feelings of desperation . . . maybe that was overdramatic . . . how about building levels of panic . . . I don't know if I am ever going to accurately capture it . . . oh well, I will continue . . . I guess these feelings prove that I am still quite self-aware, and am feeling similar feelings to those who have gone before me.

I will press on. I will get something done on this oppressive document tomorrow. And, I promise, my next post will not be quite as overly dramatic . . .

Peace out, y'all.

"J"

A very tired weekday update . . . and stuff.

2008-03-04T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all!

So, haven't posted in a red hot minute. Both L and myself (J) have been constantly busy working on our dissertations. Constantly writing so that we can defend and graduate as quickly as we can. . . . NOT. Ok, so, the truth is we have been writing some. We are trying to get shizz done so that we are not stuck in ABD (All but disseration) oblivion. Anyway, I will let L tell you what she has been up to . . . The "J" has been working his butt off . . . with more clincial than research work, but still, I have been coding data, and setting up to write chapters four and five of the dissertation. I am planning to take next week off, and really dig in. Ugh. I wish I had an abundance of money that would allow me to just write and not worry about things like . . . oh, I don't know . . . eating, having power, etc. UGH! Anyway, I will be posting more in the next few days. I see that a few of you are actually reading . . . Yay, we've reached 50 views! Let us know you are reading, and that there are other people out there who either find us funny OR know what we are going through here. TALK TO US! :)

"J"

Writing and CV's and Jobs . . . Oh my!

2008-02-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here's an interesting occurrence. I had a meeting with a big time money woman at another University . . . I may have mentioned this meeting, but quite frankly I don't feel like going back through all of the shizz I have posted to figure it out . . . so, anyway, the meeting was kind of a probing, pre-interview, type of thingy. We sat around and talked about research interests, teaching, bureacratic crap that goes on in University settings, etc. So, the meeting went really well, and we have very similar interests, and she thinks I would be a good fit at University X. Great! Scary, but great! So, I get an email today that says she has distributed my cv to the dean and other faculty memebers she thinks would be interested in my shizz. In fact, before she gave it to the dean, the dean asked her if she had ever thought about researching incarcerated populations . . . THAT'S MY MAIN SHIZZ, Y'ALL! I find all of this very exciting . . . and scary . . . and stuff. I mean, the idea of getting on at a University in more of a research position, is soooooooo not what I have ever really wanted to do . . . HOWEVER, if I get on at this University or another one like it, I can get my loans mostly or completely paid for. I can do anything for a while to remove the government loan monkey from my back.

All of this is great, but, I am still not done with my dissertation. I think I am going to take a week off in a couple of weeks and just plow through it. Once I get the COMPLETED draft on paper . . . I will feel soooo much better. That's just how I roll. I'm much better working with a completed document than feeling the pressure to create.

All of this to say, it is soooo time for me to get my hindquarters in gear, and get to getting.

I'm not really sure if anyone is reading this blog or not. . . I put the counter on the page, but it is hard to tell whether the numbers are from me and L or others. So, if you're reading this, post a comment, give a shout out . . . let us know what you think.

Be productive, and don't let the divas get ya down!

J

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled PhD students!

2008-02-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, so not a long post tonight, folks. . . I am having a tiny, little bit of trouble getting focused on school stuff this week. I work about eleventy jobs and it becomes very easy to procrastinate. I will have to wait until Friday to touch my school stuff again. The way I work, my money work is Tuesday-Thursday . . . . some of it spills over to Monday and Friday . . . because, well, I HAVE TO EAT. Therefore, my PhD has taken a wee bit longer than others'. Yes, you all can read into this statement that I am BITTER about those that get to SIMPLY WORK ON THEIR PHD WHILE THEY ARE BEING SUPPORTED BY THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS . . . now, don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them this advantage . . . I just don't want to be judged against an unfair standard. And, it seems that WE are. WE, meaning L and myself, have, in my opinion, been unfairly judged, because WE cannot get our stuff done as quickly as those who have been able to work straight through. UGH!

Ok, I ramble . . . so, I've got to get on with my shizz this week. All y'all . . . is anybody listening . . . I need all y'all who might even think about reading this blog to put out good feelings to me this week so that I can write and move towards getting done with this . . . oh so beautiful process . . .
:)

Peace out, yo

J

A World of chaos - slightly tinged with positivity!

2008-01-30T19:22:00.003-08:00

Okay, so I am borrowing J's phrasing - but I am having the opposite kind of experience this week. I am spinning out of control and my days are running one into the next....I can't get a handle on what I need to work on and I am working on everything else. Whew...so tired and it's only Wednesday.

This is the other side of the student issue - teaching a class, working with students, answering phone calls related to the class and finding that my time is basically consumed by the class so far this week. Oh time management gods - please help me!

When I did sit down to work on something related to the PhD process, I can't seem to find the software I need to work on it. Hmmm, a little disorganized and a whole lot frustrated about now :)

The positive part? Well, I am going to reach out to my chair for some much needed support and I know that I will get it. That keeps me going. That and I know that someone taped American Idol for me tonight.

That's all for now! L

2008-01-30T19:22:00.001-08:00

A feeling of positivity in a world filled with chaos

2008-01-29T16:46:00.000-08:00

A grounded, down to earth, helpful, giving PhD . . . who'd a thunk it?

My chair, we'll call her NG, is WONDERFUL! I could not have asked for a better person to chair my dissertation committee. A little history . . . I originally had a committee of people who did not like each other. It was a bad time . . . So, I went to NG and she agree to chair my committee and we developed a new and improved committee. I will not go as far as to say that my committee is free of PhDivas or PhDivos as the case may be, but my chair grounds the whole thing. I heart her. NG knows when to call me on my shizz, as well as, when to complement my shizz. She admits her own weaknesses, and advises me very well. Yes, folks, this is a love fest. She is by no means perfect, none of us are - no matter what we may think of ourselves :) - but, she rules as the chair of my committee. An example - the last two days, I have had a spurt of creative/productive energy. I don't really know where these spurts come from, but I have learned to ride the wave. So, I have spent the last two days updating two chapters of my dissertation, my cv, and a little document called my research agenda. I have sent these docs to NG, and she has been on the ball sending them back to me with "embedded comments". Therefore, rather than floundering in a sea of procratination and despair, I have been productive. With NG's help, I have re-developed my CV, and have completed my research agenda.

For those of you who don't know - because I didn't - a research agenda outline my past, present, and future research interests. Now, if I were completely honest, I would say that my future research interests would be to leave me the "f" alone, and let me research and/or publish at my leisure . . . however, in academia, that is a luxury we are not afforded. So, a potential University employer has asked me to create this document. . . And, with NG's help, it is finished. That being said, I'm not sure if what I've written is exactly what I want to do - more likely, what potential salary and insurance giver wants me to do - but, alas, that is the name of the game.

I've written enough for now, I just felt like on this blog, where we might be more critical than praising, that I would provide some positivity in a world filled with chaos ( I cannot take full credit for the last half of that sentence as it is an adapted quote from the movie Clueless).

Defining the diva...

2008-01-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, I concur with J on the initial thoughts about just what the PhDiva is! Sadly, there seems to be a trend that pushes academics toward their inner diva. So how do we begin to the define the diva?

This will be difficult to do in the space of just a few posts...hence the need for the whole blog :)

What happens in the classroom of the diva?

Perhaps it is because we had the chance to work in the real world prior to pursuing an advanced degree - but I think both J and I tend to go the other route...I NEVER seem to forget what it is like to be in student shoes (flip-flops, clogs, whatever the shoe may be).

But the diva - well, they are often so far removed from who they interact with - it is almost as if they are 'phoning in' a performance in the classroom. If they are spewing their knowledge to the masses below - well then, the diva has taken hold.

What happened to actually teaching....maybe we should step back and look at what the purpose of higher ed is all about?

Just an initial thought - more to come! L

Don't Be a PhDiva

2008-01-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

Alright folks, I'm not sure that anyone will be interested in this blog or not, but here it goes. I am setting up this space for me, J, and my friend, L, to post about graduate school. More specifically, we will use this blog as an outlet for all of the frustrations, roadblocks, and successes (yes, occassionally there are happy thoughts) that we experience as we come to the tail end of our journey towards PhD-dom. L and myself are in the final year of our PhD process, and in this time, we have stumbled into some very interesting situations. Some good, some bad, and some very very ugly. The title for this blog was created in a conversation that L and I were having about some of the professors with which we deal. We have tried to keep track of all of the bad stuff that has happened to us in an effort to avoid becoming a "PhDiva". Don't get me wrong, we have encountered several professors who have offered a wonderful example on how to be a good prof. However, the bad examples seem to FAR OUTWEIGH the good ones. Therefore, this blog is a moral imperative.

For me, a PhDiva is someone who obtains a PhD and chooses not to wield their power in a benevolent manner. One who takes themselves WAY too seriously, and believes that, oh let me think, that they are curing cancer as opposed to instructing classes and conducting their own brand of research. They become so far removed from their population of interest that their research becomes somewhat meaningless. . . . de-personalized . . . simply a routine. As you can tell, I am not a particular fan of these folks.

Well, that's pretty much it. If anyone reads this blog, feel free to comment, L and I would love to hear your experiences and comments on ours.

Happy writing, studying, and dealing with the higher ups!