Trolling For Jobs

Hey Non-Divas,

So, today finds me trolling for jobs. As you read in my last post, I have been trolling for jobs for a hot minute. However, now, I am doing it from home. I have all of my shizz together. CV, check; Letters of Recommendation, check; Cover Letter, check; Teaching Evaluations, check; High Panic Level, check; High Level of Anxiety That They Are Gonna Figure Out That I'm Really a Phony and Tell Me That I Can't Get In The Club, check. See, I am armed with all of the requisite papers and emotions to hopefully complete the job of transitioning from being a graduate student to an Assistant Professor. There's just one thing . . . I still can't quite wrap my brain around the idea that someone is going to hire me to be faculty at a University. It kind of freaks me out. I mean, it's not that I don't think I can do the job. I love to teach. I can bullshit with the best of them. I'm good at the research that I do. It's just difficult for me to get a hold of the idea that this step, that I have been "preparing" for over the past eleventy years is now ready to be taken. What the hell?

I'm probably going to post more about my ideas about transitioning from one culture to the other. I'm very unclear on what is going to happen and how I am going to handle it and how I'm going to make my mother understand that moving across the country may very well be what is best for me. Yes, non-diva's, I am 36 years old and still dealing with this stuff. Does it ever stop?

I'll check back in later.